Denying Men Sex Ruined My Life: Learn From My Experience

Hello!

I have been unlucky with men and i dont know if i am cursed or if I am the cause. Initially, way back in school, I usually dont get involved in any sexual relationship because I wasnt brought up that way. My mum always inspect our hymen monthly ever since me and my sister started menstruating. I was brought up in a strict religious family and my dad was an elder at the church. my mum was always telling us that being a virgin was the best way to attract a husband destined by God. Although she stopped doing the hymen check after sometime but I took that believe into adulthood and sadly I lost a lot of men due to that decision. No man who came into my life stayed above 6 months once they werent getting sex. 
Only one guy from my town managed to stay with me up to a year plus before my lodge mate seduced him and they are both got married in less than 3 months. I couldnt stop blaming myself because he actually told me that he cant marry a woman who he has not slept with but I didnt know he was truely serious about getting married. I guess he got what he wanted from her and had to move on.  That was the turning point in my life because I felt i have finally met someone who loved me. I was shattered when he left me. I grieved and even attempted suicide. i was almost going crazy because the girl in question was staying in my lodge and I had to deal with seeing them both every other weekend when he would come to visit her. I moved out to another place. Few months later, I heard they were married and friends and hostelites attended.  It took me months before I recovered from that trauma and I learnt one vital lesson from that. I blamed my mum for misleading me into the virginity stuff. I lost my virginity to the next guy i dated during youth service. That was in 2012. Its been 4 years now and i have slept with about 7 men who I dated between that time and non of them is talking marriage. I am lost at why my life has to be this way. I have been good and that cost me my best years, I will be 33 by September without any reasonable relationship. My mum who caused this is now on my neck insulting me at every giving opportunity because I am single. I am writing this in so young girls will learn from my experience. Thank you