“Dear Linda Ikeji, forgive me. I thought you had sense”, By Mark Anthony

Years ago, I was armed with naivety of how the Nigerian entertainment industry worked and I looked at a lot of people with awe—like a child will look at Santa. Linda was one of those people I felt was all that.

I mean, in a world well dominated by men who know what they are doing and the ones that don’t know what they are doing Linda was and is a stand out. The story of blogging in Africa cannot even begin without Linda writing the preface. Linda made a fortune from not minding her business; she built an empire with a foundation of lies, conspiracies, amebo and many times bitterness.

Scratch that!

Linda, all my friends have been calling me after you came out of the baby mama closet this morning. They said my madam is a scam, they said you are a “manipulative bitch”, they said people who take you seriously are the same people who take the tooth fairy thing seriously. I feel sad Linda. You “fell” my hand in different ways. I am not going to call you out for “felling” into pregnancy but I will call you out for preaching celibacy online but offline you drive 2 hours from your house enduring the insane traffic of Lagos to Jermi’s house because of the same coitus you told young girls not to do. Enjoying one for the road!

Linda!! How cold of you my dear. Enjoying the magic of orgasms and telling girls not to enjoy what you are enjoying. This speaks a lot about you. You are one hell of a greedy person. Depriving girls of something as vital as orgasm in this god forsaken country?? Sigh.
Years ago, you slandered all the available baby mamas in Nigeria and around the world.

I mean!! You were their nightmare. You gave them sleepless nights, you gave them low self esteem, you made it seem like a grown woman cannot decide not to have a husband but have a child. Look at you now my dear. You have become what you laughed at. You have written an epistle punctuated with your near-deflated ego and unserious grammar usage. You always make history dear. You are the first woman to ever “fell” in pregnancy in the history of the world.

Karma knows your address my dear. It isn’t done visiting you yet. For all the innocent people you slandered with your blog, you will receive in the same measure. You think parking out of the mainland to Banana Island will confuse karma or make it leave you?? Sorry. Karma is the greatest cartographer of all times dear. It knows everywhere!

After reading your coming out story, I remembered this quote “To defend the truth, you say very little, to defend deceit, you have to keep explaining yourself.” Every smart person that read your story knows that there is more to it but because you are Linda that cares less about truth but more about lies, you have drowned part of the truth. My dear, truth na soap. It may take time but very soon, e go bubble and the bubble go clear your eye once more.

Forgive me Linda, I thought you had sense. I won’t do it again.

Written by Mark Anthony Osuchukwu. He can be reached on instagram as onye_mark or via his mail markanthonyfoundation@gmail.com